Britains famed Telephone Boxes have many ingredients to them making them the
perfect housing for the payphone. This design was the envy of the world for
it never really failed to deliver. So why has this fantastic scattering of
ringing refuge been scheduled for a slow but sure trashing by the British
Telecom foolhardies? Its just the same old story, some no-nothing idiot
sticking his nose into where it aint wanted. In other words, some imbecile
is trying to make a name for himself by changing the face of London for the
worst, and has succeeded by far.
These ornate outhouses have adorned our streets for a century. They were very recognisable from a distance, were a nice sealed shelter from the sound and weather, so that a call could be made in a pleasant atmosphere, even though one was on the sidewalk. It was a most graceful affair, even providing a supporting cast of telephone directories, with a little table. One wasnt even made to inject money before being able to dial up. And any problems with the call were addressed promptly by a very polite operator. Happy days!
Loving thanks go to the genius of this any many other designs, Sir Giles Gilbert Scott, who, in the early twentieth century, adorned England with some startling and practical marvels, using creative intelligence which would be lost on today's so called architects. His Red Box holds it's own against his other London greats, such as Battersea Power Station, and Bankside (badly rebuilt as the Tate Modern). Hats off to Sir Giles! The Red Kiosk was sheer perfection.
Unfortunately, in its later years, our little dialing rooms were subject to much abuse from a badly behaved public. Furthermore, the repairs and upkeep seemed to be impossible to master. I think thats what pushed guv'nors into selling off these cute objects of desire, and replacing them with a mostly open and US style of canopy. These units were relatively unusable, inaudable, and invisible. What a shambles! Another great design banished from London, so that some idiot can treat us to his nauseous nightmare. Camouflaged, Unfindable. Ambient, Unhearable. What was happening? It couldnt have been worse.
Nowadays, there are still a few of the old design, probably as tourist items, and recently, some of the new boxes have been redesigned to slightly emulate the boxes of old. But its just no good. They're still noisy and drafty. The original red boxes were a brilliant idea and should never have been touched. These morons shouldn't be allowed to mess with our heritage. Thank heavens for my Cellphone!
Charles (of London Town)